When I see a bug…
At first I’m like:
“I’m gonna kill this mother fucker.”
Then it moves and I’m like:
.
Every time…. -_____-
(Source: thelaughingstache)
“You’re looking at me like that again.”
“Like what?”
“Like you want to lick me. Do you not remember what happened the last 12 times.”
“But I like to lick things.”
“I like to get drunk and go to parties, but I woke up naked next to an anteater. So I don’t do that anymore. You like to lick me and then you hurt your tongue and whimper for an hour. Perhaps it’s just not worth it.”
“I could lick in one direction.”
“You’ve tried that, but you have no self control. You get excited from all of the licking and then you just lose it and lick up, down, sideways… don’t do it, okay?”
“Okay.
*lick*
GODDAMMIT! IT HURTS, IT HURTS. MAKE IT STOP! OH GOD THE PAIN!!”
“Jackass.”
